About the birds and bees
by Prue Halliwell Snape
Summary: Translation for the spanish "sobre los pájaros y las abejitas" Severus Snape gives his five year old daughter the talk about the mystery of life


IT was an evening close to Halloween. Severus Snape was sitting alone in his office grading homeworks. Usually Marianne would come in with a cup of tea, but not this time, she went to Lupin's place to deliver the woolfsbane potion.

With a sigh and trying to control his jealousy by forcing himself to remember the werewolf's tendencies, the potions master took his attention back to a boring and nasty essay when he felt something tugging his leg, his pants to be precise

He stood petrified for a second, he didn't need to look down to know what it was. With a smile on his lips he muttered in his patented sardonic tone. "I wonder what kind of monster would be there under my desk" he lowered his hand slowly...and got softly bitten while there were heard the propper noises of a baby seal

"Now ..." said Snape "what does a south pole animal under my desk?" With a ver fast move his hands took hold of the little creature, pulled up to his lap and started tikcling. Sarah Gwendolyn Snape started to laugh and said between giggles "Uncle! Uncle! I surrender"

"now, baby seal, you shall confess what are you doing here" Said Snape kissing his daughter's cheek With the exact same tome of her father, the little one turned earnst and said "as a matter of fact my friends the seals sent me on an important mission"

"oh yeah?" Snape raised an eyebrow "You can tell your little friends the chocolate monster is not available, nor that he'll be in about a week"

The little girl rolled her eyes and said "If I wanted chocolate, I'd go with the usual provider. This is more important and I doubt godfather Moony can help me, as such I have to come with the wisest expert" she nodded

Snape's cheeks tried to supress a flush caused by the emotion of seeing his daughter admired him that much "so what's that mission then, Sarah?" he asked

Sarah stared at him with her deep black eyes, just lke her fathers but with an innocent touch. After considering it, she went off his lap and left the room

She came back five minutes later with a cup of tea (making a huge effort not to spill it) gave it to her father, who put it on the desk and said politely "thank you, Miss Snape"

Sarah bowed, took her father's wand to conjure a chair (Snape was slowly teaching her simple charms) and sat in front of him With a look between worried and amused, the potions master took a sip of tea; that turned out to be a mistake as he did it at the very moment the little angel threw the bomb

"daddy, where do babies come from?"

There he was: Severus Snape, head of Slytherin, potions master, spy for the order of the Phoenix, a cold calculating man, able to lie to Voldemort....chocking in fear and shame caused by a five year old girl who was staring at him confused.

"Sarah, why do you want to know?" Snape thought that was the best course of action. Not only would distract the child, but also he would find find who he shall murder for the implant of such thoughts in his little and innocent baby

Sarah shrugged "I've heard a Hufflepuff girl saying her mummy will have a new baby and It occured to me, do you order them by owl or something like that?"

Used to be upset and dislike people as he was, this time was Lupin at the receiving end of his anger "Damn you" he thought "If you weren't a werewolf, Marianne would be here with me and taking care of this, she always knows what to say, when and how"

"eeeeh, Professor Daddy?" Sarah had puppy eyes "Are you upset? did I say something wrong? I'm sorry I just thought you knew, I mean you DO have a baby"

Touché! Fire only can be fought with fire. Sarah was his father's daughter: both sarcastic and able to get the truth out of each other

There was no way out, even now Snape was able to hear his wife's voice "the only way to keep the love and respect of your daughter is to talk to her with the truth" "easy for you to say, Marianne" he groaned "you're not here to tell Sarah the mystery of life, you won't go to bed knowing your little baby knows about sex...wait no; YOU will go to bed**_ knowing_** I'll make myself sure of it"

"Daddy?" Sarah insisted "Are you going to explain me or am I grounded?"

Snape had no choice but to accept his defeat. "Well, you see, darling, when two people lover each other, they feel the need to express that love physically"

"Aha " said Sarah "they hug each other, kiss each other, dance, Mummy and you do it all the time, also the buggers" she said making a grin that Snape had seen before in a place called the mirror

The buggers. The fact that his child was perfectly aware of Lupin's sexual tendencies just made things worse "Sarah, I don't think is nice for you to call them _the buggers_, after all they're your uncle and godfather and" he sighed "as much as it cost tome to admit it, they love you as much as mummy and I do"

"Severus," Sarah turned earnst again and lowered her voice to sound more mature "First of all, YOU call them that, second, they know I do and don't complain and third, do not change the subject"

Considering the background of Snape as teacher, it's logical to think she was grounded. But no one nor Voldemort or Dumbledore had the power to melt Snape's will, like Sarah. He was proud of Sarah's wit even whe was her favourite victim. They had developed a deep friendship; for Sarah, her dad was also her best friend, confident and partner in crime. On the other hand , Severus saw in Sarah the oportunity to be back to childhood, this time with a fun, loving mother, and a friend.

"Well" he swallowed "there's another way to express said love besides hugs and kisses" he started to blush "and that form brings babies"

"Go on" said Sarah in such a polite tone, as a politician discussing important decisions,. Which made her father suspicious

"You do know where do babies come from, right?"

Sarah frowned "If I knew, what's the sense of come asking you? To torture you? Seems that I asked something hard"

"Well, it's hard to explain, that form that brings babies is called "Love making" " each word added a pink flush to Snape's face who was glad to be the potions master and not the sexual education teacher

Sarah, on the other hand, was really calmed, taking it as something natural, paying attention. She also asked if the buggers can have babies, but fortunately she settled with a loud NO

At the end of the talk she rewarded her father with a kiss before jumping yelling "MUMMY"

Marianne was back. She kissed her daughter and gave her the chocolate bar Remus sent her. Sarah smiled and ran to her room with her trasure

Mrs Snape then turned to her husband a bit worried "Darling?" she asked while kissing his forehead "are you ok? you're beyond blushed"

"NO" Growled Snape "I'm NOT okay, you abandoned me, you did it on porpouse and YOUR daughter made me give her "the talk" "

Marianne frowned.She knew her husband too well to know he was clearly disturbed, and she thought it was cute "I'd never understand why when she learns new things is your little treasure and when she does something bad is my daughter.. what did you say she did?" she was actually amused

"ask me where do babies come from" he was now pouting "And now she knows, my little baby knows about sex because of me" He buried his face in her abdomen. Marianne started to laugh

"Oh, great, my disgrace amuses you, thank you for your support I love you too"

This of course only made her laugh louder "But now you know she's well informed and no one would abuse her, you did something really good"

"Easy for you to say , you didn't have to tell her about it"

With such tenderness you could cut with a knife , Marianne kissed Snape's lips. If there was a person with as much power over him as Sarah, that was Marianne. That kiss was enough to make him forget about it. So he didn't have a problem with her saying

"You know? I think I forgot where do babies come from Care to give me a personal graphic demonstration?"

He simply winked and whispered: "Why of course, Miss Lea, after all I'm your teacher "


End file.
